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Thursday, April 10, 2014

How To Teach Your Daughter Not to Tolerate Abuse

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How To Teach Your Daughter Not to Tolerate Abuse - By Karla Downing

Are you a Christian struggling with boundaries? If so, you may be concerned about what you are modeling to your daughter. As a parent of a daughter, you want her to be treated well by the men she will date and the man she will marry. This article will show you how to teach your daughter not to tolerate abuse in her relationships with men.

Don't abuse her. If a girl is abused by her father or mother or anyone else, she is very likely to pick abusive men to date and marry. When you treat her well, you model how it feels to be treated respectfully. If someone treats her disrespectfully, it won't feel right and she will sense a red flag, but if she is used to being treated abusively, then she won't have that red flag because the mistreatment will feel normal.

Don't tolerate abuse toward you. When you allow yourself to be abused, then you will be modeling how a person is treated by others. If it is good enough for you, then why wouldn't it be right for her? If you set a boundary with the people in your life that treat you abusively, then she will see that she has options when she is mistreated. Girls watch their mothers and fathers to see how a relationship should be. They then replicate those dynamics.

Respect her right to say no. Christians focus on teaching children to obey. There is nothing wrong with this, as children do need to obey their parents and authority figures; however, a child should always be able to say no when it feels unsafe and unhealthy and the adults in her life need to respect her right to say no and stop what they are doing. This shouldn't be used as a way for her to manipulate you, but as training for her right to say no to what doesn't feel right to her.

Teach her to validate herself. Abuse victims ignore what they feel and instead believe their abuser. Teach your daughter to identify her beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and perceptions and to hold fast to them as hers. Tell her that other people do not have to agree with her in order for her to validate herself. Reinforce that it is good for her to stand strong as her own person.

Don't use God as a threat. Emphasize how much God values her. When she makes mistakes show her how God forgives her and understands her imperfections. Don't use God to shame her, scare her, or threaten her. If you use God as a threat, you will set her up to have her husband use God and the Bible to spiritually abuse her by controlling her through fear of God's punishment if she doesn't obey him.

It is your goal to raise your daughter to be a woman of dignity that is treated with respect rather than abuse. This article has shown you how to teach your daughter not to tolerate abuse in her relationships.

Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life. Just click here: Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools. Article Source:

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Why Most Young People Today Are Not Prepared For Marriage?

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Why Most Young People Today Are Not Prepared For Marriage? by Angie Lewis 
This article speaks in generalities and what I have experienced in the young people I personally know today. I am not putting all 20-somethings into this category. You be the judge and decide for yourself if you are prepared for a lifetime marriage or not.
Most young people are not prepared for marriage because they have never been taught the wife/husband and the woman/man roles for marriage. Most women walk into marriage with the attitude of how her husband can make her happy 24/7 and both of them walk into the marriage with feelings of desire and lust. This is not to say they do not love one another, but it is to say which are you basing the marriage on, love or feelings.
Many times, because the husband does not truly know what his role is in the marriage, the wife in her disappointment becomes bossy and critical of her husband, but she does not know what his role is either, or hers for that matter. Then because of the lack of positive attention from his wife, the husband becomes bored and thinks he is not in love anymore.
Of course if you're going to have a marriage just like everyone else that will have a 50 to 60 percent chance rate of failure, then I suppose it does not matter if you have not been taught how to treat the opposite sex and love the person you marry. But if we want a godly marriage based on God's principles then we DO NEED to know a little bit about what is expected of us so we can honor God with our marriage, not turn it into a shambles.
A couple should never walk into marriage thinking that the marriage is for their happiness and enjoyment, or think that our spouses are supposed to fulfill our every nonsensical whim and make us happy 24/7. That would be a fairy-tale marriage and there is no such thing as a fairy-tale marriage. The closest you will get to a fairy-tale marriage is if you manage your marriage under God's relationship principles. Love must be without dissimulation.
Have you ever noticed how the fairy-tale books always say in the end "and they lived happily ever after"? But this is VERY misleading and presumptuous, would you say? It's just like telling small children about the existence of Santa Clause and the tooth fairy. It is ridiculous to have your daughter grow up believing that she will be whisked up by prince charming and the marriage will be happily ever after. It's a delusion.
Let me show you the difference between the fairy-tale marriage and the Godly Marriage. Now remember, fairytale marriages don't last because reality sets in and couples cannot handle the stress put upon what they presumed would be happily ever after.
Godly Marriage
* Godly marriages believe that happiness comes from within our spirit because of our relationship with God, and that marriage is made for honoring God-its creator!
* Godly marriage is based upon God's principles of love, serving one another in love, which ultimately honors God.
*Godly marriage is built upon commitment until death do you part rather than the "I'm not in love with you anymore" part.
Fairy-tale Marriage
Fairy-tale marriages believe that happiness comes from each other, which makes marriage even more selfish.
Fairy-tale marriages believe that love is a feeling, which causes people to think they are not in love anymore.
Fairy-tale marriage never last because the fairy-tale eventually ends.
* Fairy-tale marriage are based on feelings rather than commitment.

Are you prepared for marriage? Read more about a Godly marriage, built upon love here: We would love to see you at our Godly courtship forums: Article Source:

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Who is Jesus : From Genesis to Revelation -HE puts up with Me and yet loves me so much!

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He puts up with me & yet loves me so much!His Beautiful name is  JESUS! 

In Genesis, He is the Creator God
In Exodus, He is the Redeemer
In Leviticus, He is your sanctification
In Numbers, He is your guide
In Deuteronomy, He is your teacher
In Joshua, He is the mighty conqueror
In Judges, He gives victory over enemies
In Ruth, He is your kinsman, your lover, your redeemer
In I Samuel, He is the root of Jesse
In 2 Samuel, He is the Son of David
In 1 Kings and 2 Kings, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords
In 1st and 2nd Chronicles, He is your intercessor and High Priest
In Ezra, He is your temple, your house of worship
In Nehemiah, He is your mighty wall, protecting you from your enemies
In Esther, He stands in the gap to deliver you from your enemies
In Job, He is the arbitrator who not only understands your struggles, but has the power to do something about them
In Psalms, He is your song--and your reason to sing
In Proverbs, He is your wisdom, helping you make sense of life and live it successfully
In Ecclesiastes, He is your purpose, delivering you from vanity.
In the Song of Solomon, He is your lover, your Rose of Sharon.
In Isaiah, He is the mighty counselor, the prince of peace, the everlasting father, and more. He's everything you need
In Jeremiah, He is your balm of Gilead, the soothing salve for your sin-sick soul
In Lamentations, He is the ever-faithful one upon whom you can depend
In Ezekiel, He is your wheel in the middle of a wheel--the one who assures that dry, dead bones will come alive again
In Daniel, He is the ancient of days, the ever- lasting God who never runs out of time
In Hosea, He is your faithful lover, always beckoning you to come back--even when you have abandoned Him
In Joel, He is your refuge, keeping you safe in times of trouble
In Amos, He is the husbandman, the one you can depend on to stay by your side
In Obadiah, He is Lord of the Kingdom
In Jonah, He is your salvation, bringing you back within His will
In Micah, He is judge of the nation
In Nahum, He is the jealous God.
In Habakkuk, He is the Holy One
In Zephaniah, He is the witness
In Haggai, He overthrows the enemies
In Zechariah, He is Lord of Hosts
In Malachi, He is the messenger of the covenant.

In Matthew, He is king of the Jews
In Mark, He is the servant
In Luke, He is the Son of Man, feeling what you feel
In John, He is the Son of God
In Acts, He is Savior of the world
In Romans, He is the righteousness of God
In I Corinthians, He is the rock that followed Israel
In II Corinthians, He the triumphant one, giving victory
In Galatians, He is your liberty; He sets you free
In Ephesians, He is head of the Church
In Philippians, He is your joy
In Colossians, He is your completeness
In I Thessalonians, He is your hope
In II Thessalonians, He is your glory
In I Timothy, He is your faith
In II Timothy, He is your stability
In Philemon, He is your benefactor
In Hebrews, He is your perfection
In James, He is the power behind your faith
In I Peter, He is your example
In II Peter, He is your purity
In I John, He is your life
In II John, He is your pattern
In III John, He is your motivation
In Jude, He is the foundation of your faith
In the Revelation, He is your coming King .....

He (JESUS) is the First and the Last, Beginning and the End! He is the keeper of creation, the Creator of all! He is the architect of the universe, the Manager of all times! He always is, always was, always will be - moved, unchanged, undefeated, Never undone! He was bruised and brought healing, He was pierced and eased pain! He was persecuted and brought freedom! He was dead and brought life! He is risen and brings power! He reigns and brings peace!

The world can't understand Him, The armies can't defeat Him! The schools can't explain Him, and The leaders can't ignore Him
Herod couldn't kill Him, The pharisees couldn't confuse Him, and the people couldn't hold Him
Nero couldn't crush Him, Hitler couldn't silence Him! New Age cant replace Him, and 'Oprah' cant explain Him in anyway!

He is Light, Love, Longevity and Lord. He is Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and GOD! He is Holy, Righteous, Mighty, Powerful and Pure. His ways are right, His word is eternal; His will is unchanging, and His mind is on Me !

He is my Savior,
He is my Guide,
He is my Peace,
He is my Joy,
He is my Comfort.
He is my Lord and He rules my life.

I serve Him because He is GOD and is worthy to be served.
I serve Him because... His bond is love, HE IS LOVE! His burden is light, and His goal for me is Abundant Life. I follow Him because... He is the Wisdom of the wise, The Power of the powerful, The Ancient of days, The Ruler of rulers, The Leader of leaders, The Overseer of the over comers, and The Sovereign Lord of all that was and is, and is to come. Jesus bleed suffered and died so we could have relationship with and know the creator of the universe as our FATHER

All that is written here is for you too:

He will never leave me, never forsake me, never forget me, never overlook me, and never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up! when I fail, He forgives! When I am weak, He is strong! When I am lost, He is the way! When I am afraid, He is my courage! When I stumble, He steadies me! When I am hurt, He heals me! When I am broken, He mends me! When I am blind, He leads me! When I am hungry, He feeds me! When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecutions, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home!

He is everything for everybody, everywhere, every time, and every way. He is God, He is faithful. I am His, and He is mine! My Father in heaven GOD can whip the father of this world the devil. So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, Understand this... He said it and that settles it! God is in control, I am on His side, And that means all is well with my soul.

Everyday is a Blessing - for God in our life is a blessing! I love the Lord and thank Him for all that he does in my life, Therefore, I'm passing this on to you. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, But with Him I can do all things. I could know or have EVERYTHING the world has to offer BUT If I do NOT know or have JESUS I am NOTHING. If you do not know him I pray you receive HIM accept truth and be set FREE!

If you do not know JESUS the Fathers Love the ONLY way to Heaven I pray you forgive who ever hurt you and disappointed you and let him turn your heart of stone into heart of flesh..

Revelation - 1:7-8 
"Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."

God Bless. :) 
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5 common mistakes made by Christian Single Woman

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5 common mistakes made by Christian Single Woman - By Shei Tan 

Being too polite, too bubbly, and too friendly are some of the pitfalls of a single Christian woman. Sometimes, girls tend to amplify their finest stance to send indirect information towards the opposite gender that they have what any Christian man would look for. However, most of them do not recognize the risky result of this goal to their relationship with Christian men and most of all their relationship with God. Here are some of the common errors made by single Christian women:

1. Being alarmed at the shortage of Christian men

When you see a new guy in the church or meet a new friend in the ministry, the first possible evaluation you'll check is appearance not his faith. Undoubtedly, you will then be curious if he is single. The scarcity of Christian men makes every single woman panic for the existence of one.

Keep in mind, Christianity is a vast religion which covers different denominations. Do not be alarmed if you don't see single Christian men in your local area. Involve yourself in conferences and different conventions where you can get to know more acquaintances.

2. Exaggerating a man's plain approach

When a man approaches you and talks to you, do not immediately assume that he is showing an interest. Never gossip about a plain conversation between you and a Christian guy especially if you are not aware whether he is single or not. Becoming too presumptuous can lead to misinterpretation and argument.

3. Becoming emotionally irrational

More often than not, Christian women are attacked emotionally. Sadly, most of them fail to conquer their feelings and recover from the attack. If this applies to you, you need a strong support group that will encourage you to express your feelings and give you pieces of advice.

4. Hesitancy to open up your unpleasant side to Christian men

Many Christian girls try to please the opposite gender by creating an impression. Often times, they mask their repulsive behavior by being too modest or too preachy thinking that the guy will be interested in her. If this is your way of attaining a relationship, it will probably not last long. Pretending to be someone you're not will even cause a turn-off.

5. Becoming too transparent and vulnerable

Whilst it is healthy to share your ideals to a Christian guy, disclosing too much information which has something to do with your weaknesses will certainly put you into vulnerability. Be careful with what you relay, do not expose your weak points nor use them as fillers to extend a conversation.

If you found yourself guilty of committing one of the above-mentioned mistakes, then now is the time to modify your moves. Psalms 37: 4 says,"Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart." This passage inspires us not to do so much effort in finding or pleasing our would-be partners but to trust in God's way of creating your Christ-like love story.

Experience a love story beyond the traditional manner of courtship. Visit and be surprised with the large number of single Christians like you who are also waiting for their life-partner. Who knows, you may find your perfect match in no time!
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