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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Obedience by faith

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Obedience, Faith, Baptism of the Spirit  -  Steve Wickham

DECEMBER 18, 2003, was a special day. Late morning I strolled to a nearby park and began running laps. It was a hot day, but I cannot recall feeling hot. At one point, as I was praying, I was brought to a standstill and then I was dropped to my knees; tears of replete joy streaming down my face, a giant goose bump consumed my entire being. The experience lasted a minute or two with full intensity, but the rest of my day, and indeed the weeks ahead, were characterised by this abiding sense of God's power, joy and peace - the Holy Spirit's encouragement. Importantly, four days beforehand I had confessed a lifetime of sins - five hours it took before a trusted mentor, as part of a 12-Step program to speak about nearly twenty years of sin as an adult, before both him and God.
It is no coincidence, in my mind, that my obedience - to confess my sin and need for forgiveness - on December 14 was the precursor to God's blessing of an experience of baptism in the Holy Spirit four days hence.
I would like to capture the experience in words:
In the obedience of confession,
We may transcend our cataclysm,
Because of faith's session,
We may receive the Spirit's baptism.
By the obedience of confessing our sin we gain the sense of God's peace and Presence so we are released from the spiritual burden of our calamity, though it doesn't change the consequences. Perhaps the ultimate of experiences, for obedience, is the Spirit's baptism - immersed in a torrent of holy joy all over us.
Obedience connects to blessing,
Where faith gains traction by hope,
Such is a blessing when we are confessing,
Our sins in ways where God helps us cope.
The above poem is explained:
1. Obedience is reason God blesses us, not that by obeying we can command God's blessing. It doesn't work that way. But God rewards obedience, ultimately.
2. Obedience is the product of faith, and we would have no faith unless we had hope - even though true hope is invisible and intangible.
3. The confession of our sins is the only way God can help us cope by drawing us into his Presence. Such confession of vital truths will set us free. Nothing else will; not blaming others or being hurt or disappointed.
The value in obedience is underscored by our enjoyment of closeness with God. And there is no better experience of such closeness than baptism in the Holy Spirit.
Obedience by faith is the way to intimacy with God; the experience of his Presence closely with us.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham. Steve Wickham is a Baptist Pastor who holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: and Article Source:  Article Source:

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Monday, June 30, 2014

Godly Woman Daily Calendar - July 2014 - Printable Version

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Verse Of the Month : God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.
 ~ John 4:24 
(to download printable version,  right click on the calendar and choose option [ save image as...] (or ) to view just click on the calendar. thanks . May God Bless You.)

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Monday, June 16, 2014

The Marriage Work Making Marriages Work

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The Marriage Work Making Marriages Work -  Steve Wickham

"All too often the person we idolised and were madly in love with becomes the person who 'fails' us, the person we bitterly divorced in the end." ~Harville Hendrix
A love-hate relationship exists between us and our parents/caregivers. We attached to them, but we also eventually ran from them. There are things we love about our attachment figures, but there are also things we don't like. Attachment theory suggests there is a very distinct correlation between the things we loved and hated about our attachment figures and the things we love and hate about our marriage partners. The bizarre thing is we are attracted to marrying people who remind us of our attachment figures.
This has more to do with our unconscious selves than we realise.
The tragedy of many marriages is partners never get beyond the inevitable power struggles that occur because of who we are, individually, that we are not even aware of. But if we are to understand this tragedy, as it unfolds individually first and only later within the couple, we need to understand the journey of marital love.
These three simple phases are: 1) the romantic, 2) the power struggle, and then, if the power struggle is negotiated within the bounds of self-awareness, 3) acceptance.
The romantic phase, where we only had starry eyed love for this wonderful other being, lasts from a couple weeks to a couple of years, and it finishes with a bang - in argumentative chaos usually; enters here, the power struggle. By far the majority of divorces occur because couples cannot get past the power struggle. But if they can get through the power struggle, by becoming aware of their inner woundedness, which was inflicted at childhood, their marriage has a very strong chance of surviving the distance, and even entering the glory of the sanctity of true love.
Most married people know this: true love is not to be assumed in marriage. It requires much work, devotion, and ongoing self-sacrifice for our spouses. But when we work through and beyond the power struggle, reaching acceptance, the work, the devotion, and the ongoing self-sacrifice is easier.
The marriage work making marriages work is the mutual, though individual, negotiation of the often years-long power struggle.
Successful marriage is more of an individual work, than a group work. I can qualify this by saying that no marriage partner can reach their potential as a marriage partner without having become conscious of their own inner woundedness, such that they can see why it was they married this particular partner. When we understand that what attracts us to our partners is that primal urge of attachment, we can understand also that what irks us about that attachment will irk us in marriage.
History has a way of repeating itself. Why is it that we attract the similar sort of partner? It is because of who we are; it's not really much about them at all, apart from the fact they remind us of our attachments as children. We are drawn to them like magnets.
Overcoming the power struggle, then, is about understanding the things we loathe about our partners, and understanding this loathing comes from deep within us; our partners, in this way, merely reflect back to us, like a mirror, the things we hated from childhood.
If we can become conscious of those facets of our personality that are easily irritated, and we can accept why it is we are easily irritated, we have a better chance of seeing marital conflict through a new lens. It is not our partner's fault that we are irritated in these ways. When our viewpoint is aligned this way we are ready for acceptance - to experience the blessedness of the unconditional love fuelling a good marriage.
Successful marriages are successful usually because both partners have taken responsibility to do their self-work. We, as individuals, are more central to the problems in our marriages than we realise. Being conscious of our shortcomings is the beginning of true love.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham. Further Reading: Harville Hendrix, Ph.D, Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide (New York: Pocket Books, 1993). Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). Steve writes at: and Article Source:  Article Source:

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Tall, Dark & Handsome - The Godly Husband!

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OH Yeah! HE IS Tall, Dark & Handsome!

It is a 'DREAM COME TRUE' for most girls to meet a cute, handsome and of course, a romantic guy as her future-husband! 

Girls..please get a grip! That's  not everything! :)

In general, is this all what a woman should look for in a Man? 
Every female out there should and must know it is very, very important to find that Godly Husband! 

So where do you start? How do you find this 'Mysterious Godly Husband'? How would you know 'HE' is THE Mr. Right for you? Find out by reading about the Mysterious Godly Husband portrayed below. Enjoy & make wise decisions before you get married! 

Solving the Qualities of THE Mystery Godly
(Book - Becoming A Godly Husband -The Hardest Thing A Man Will Ever Do Is Really Love His Wife by Dr. Stieglitz)

H-Honor, which a woman must receive to stay emotionally connected in marriage. 

U-Understanding, which is essential if a man is to understand the unique temperament, gifts and abilities of his wife. 

S-Security, which is the key to a woman’s spiritual connection to her husband. You should be her best friend for life. 

B-Building Unity, which is the constant job of the man so that the pressures of life do not destroy the marriage. 

A-Agreement, which is a system a man must establish and manage so that both husband and wife can enthusiastically support the decisions that are made. Agreeing with God First makes everything smooth. Let go and Let God do the agreement. 

N-Nurture, which means that a man must provide all that his wife needs to blossom as a person, mother, worker, friend, and wife. This needs God kind of Help. Husbands needs to work and Trust God for every need and provisions in both good times and bad. 

D-Defender, which is what the man must clearly become or his marriage, family, and life will be left unprotected and often destroyed. 


And Most Importantly HE must LOVE and CARE for his wife and family. Above all He must love  and obey GOD. Now that makes Him the Man of the Household! 

Choosing a Husband 
(message from : Garden of Praise)

Our choice of a mate is an extremely important decision. Once a woman chooses a man to become her husband, he is her companion, the father of their children and the ruler of their home! 
Before a woman gets caught up in the planning of a wedding, she needs to give much thought into this serious matter of selecting a mate. It is vitally important that she select a godly man who will understand what it means to be her head. He knows the teachings of  Jesus and he is a committed Christian meaning a God-fearing man.

It is written of Christ,"He is head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything." Colossians 1:18 

As God taught the Jews, He gave them commandments to be obeyed. One commandment was their not marrying outside of His people.

"Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly." Deuteronomy 7:3-4

God does not want us to marry those who might lead us away from Him. We are warned about marrying mates who are not believers of the Lord and how that can lead us into apostasy. The word apostasy means a rejection of your beliefs (often in favor of opposing beliefs). Another meaning of apostasy is a total desertion or departure from a cause. 

The Old Testament is there for our learning. Over and over we read of people marrying outside their lands into foreign lands. In these foreign lands, the people did not follow the Lord's commands. Anyone who married a person from another land was highly risking falling into apostasy.

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" - II Corinthians 6:14

When I think of a yoke, I have a mental picture of two oxen plowing with a yoke joining them together in that effort. The Jews did not plow a field with an ox and an ass yoked together. The animals had to be of the same breed. God commanded it that way.

"You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your livestock breed with another kind. You shall not sow your field with mixed seed. Nor shall a garment of mixed linen and wool come upon you. " - Leviticus 19:19

"So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Matthew 19:6 

The Lord God has continually wanted His people to keep in the forefront of their minds that they are separate from the world. 

"Therefore,come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you." - II Corinthians 6:17 

We need to stop and put much thought into any marriage proposal. The man you marry will need to have values close to yours, and he will need to be kind and gentle. We should both want a Christian household. 

Is the man you are considering to be your prospective husband a faithful Christian? Ask yourself, "Will he help me get to heaven, or will he turn me away from the Lord's teachings?" We want to make certain he understands we are to be faithful to each other as Christ was to His church. Am I determined to be faithfully devoted to him and him alone? 

If the woman wants children, they both need to discuss this before she buys the invitations. In all decisions the woman and the man need to agree. 

"And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." - Revelation 21:2

Before the woman chooses her wedding gown, the man and woman both need to sit down and seriously talk about how they would raise their children. The woman needs to ask herself, "Will he provide and care deeply for me and the children and put us second only to God and Jesus Christ? Has he broken the apron strings or will he compare me always to his mother?"

"Haven't you read, he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6

When we think of what that term "homemaker" really means, it is an honor to be able to stay home and make the home a Godly home. Even if you are only able to stay home for a couple of years with your children, you can give them a firm foundation. 

Years ago I heard a story of a young recently married couple. This couple had a car accident. The man's injuries were not serious, but his wife's injuries were very serious, because of the side of the car she was in when the accident occurred. Her face was massively disfigured and she would need a lot of extended surgery to correct her facial injuries. Her surgeries were spread out over a few years. As she was in such pain, her husband rarely left her side. He truly loved and cared for her until her physical beauty was restored. Then he continued to love and care for her, they grew old together. He showed her unconditional love. I was told the story was true.

Now Girl ask yourself these questions: Will he love me as I get older? Does he want to grow old along side of me? Does he want to be married to me until death parts us? Will I be able to balance being a wife, possibly a mother and then needing to work? And will I find happiness being a wife, mother and a homemaker?

Jesus Christ has unconditional love for us. He died for us and rose again and ascended to heaven to be with God, His Father. We need to have unconditional love for our spouses and our children. 

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33 

Seven Virtues of A Godly Husband
(Message by: Brothers of Christ webpage-for Godly husband)

 1: Selflessness – Men, in general, tend to be selfish and it is one of the reasons that marriages are failing in greater numbers. A godly husband is selfless, like Jesus. He never focused attention onto himself, but rather always on the Father and then His bride (the church). A godly husband will follow that example by focusing his attention on God first and then his wife.

Jesus taught husbands how to be servant leaders and that is what every marriage needs. Let us learn from Jesus, as He would first go to the Father for instructions and then focus on the needs of the people. As I started going to God every morning for instructions, He would help me to see how I could serve my wife every day, by showing me what I could do that day to make my wife’s life more enjoyable. My reward has been a wife who wants to serve me and an incredible, loving, passionate marriage.

2: Humility – As a whole, men tend to be prideful. We are taught from an early age to be strong and self-reliant. Yet, God isn’t looking for self-made men, He’s looking for men who will humble themselves to His will, just like Jesus did. Jesus humbled himself and set aside His God-nature in order to be a man. In order to become a godly husband, I had to put my pride and ego aside, and submit myself first to God and then to my wife. Instead of lifting myself up as the priest of the household, I began to honor my wife and exalt her as a beautiful and wonderful God-given helper. Godly men are humble servants to God and their wives.

3: Loving – In my counseling, I often hear men say that they have fallen out of love with their wives. This is because they are trying to love their wives in a worldly love. The Apostle Paul taught about a different kind of love in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is a spiritual love that is unconditional and sacrificial and only available from God.

In my quest to become a godly husband, God taught me that in order to love my wife the way Jesus loved the church, I must first come to Him and be filled with His love. Then I could go to my wife and let His love flow through me. We love each other more today than the day we married.

4: Kindness – Wife abuse has become a huge problem in the world, even in Christian marriages. I have never hit my wife, but like many husbands I was an emotional abuser. I didn't use my fists, but I did use my tongue. Proverbs 18:21 -“The tongue has the power of life and death.” Husbands can speak life or death to their wives with the words they use. As I learned to be a godly husband, the Lord taught me to engage my spirit before letting my tongue loose.

Kindness is a real key to becoming a godly husband. Each day you should strive to be kind to your wife. Compliment her looks, surprise her with flowers, a gift, or fix her dinner. Give her short love notes and special cards that tell her how special she is to you. 

Take her on creative dates and every once in awhile do the chores she usually does in your house. A godly husband realizes how kind God has been to him and funnels that kindness to his wife.

5: Gentleness – The world’s image of a man is rough and tough – the Marlboro Man, but a wife would rather have a gentle husband. Jesus modeled the perfect man by being both strong and gentle. As husbands we are called to be the same.

Many men struggle with control and anger problems. I was one of those who needed to be in control and when I wasn’t I would explode like a volcano, permanently damaging anyone who was around me. My wife forgave the words and actions, but it took a long time for her to forget. In order to become a godly husband, the Lord had to teach me first that He is the only one truly in control and then how to let my emotions out in other ways – through conversation, prayer, and even tears. Yes, real men do cry! Over time, God removed the anger and filled me with His peace that resulted in a more gentle nature.

6: Honesty – Our world is full of dishonesty and so are many marriages. Trust is a huge area for women and most husbands have done things that have strained that trust. Some women, like my wife, come into marriage with trust issues from previous relationships. Unfortunately, I did things that broke that trust and it took many years to regain it.

A godly husband will always tell the truth. Little white lies will damage a marriage, as will leaving out key details that you feel she doesn't need to know. Anything that even looks remotely dishonest to your wife, will damage your marriage.

Godly husbands will be honest and up-front with their wives in all areas. They realize that God made her as a helper and in order for a wife to do that, there can be nothing hidden.

7: Faithfulness – Infidelity, even in Christian marriages, is on the rise. Unfaithfulness falls into two categories – physical and emotional. Most often, men think of physical unfaithfulness as a sexual affair. However, this area also encompasses relationships with other women where you are sharing intimate information that should only be shared with your wife. This area would also include visiting strip clubs. A godly husband never shares his body, or mind with a woman other than his wife. 

The second is emotional unfaithfulness. Many husbands get to a point in marriage where they don’t feel sexually fulfilled and rather than discuss it with their wives, they turn to pornography. Because there is no physical contact, it seems ok. However, Jesus said that if we look at women with lust, we have committed adultery. pornography is rampant, even in Christian marriages and it is tearing them apart.

 with Your Wife
Love Her unconditionally! 
must have only ONE wife!
Should have Good and Pleasant Authority over Her!
Respect Her!
Tell her she is Beautiful!
Speak Kindly
Be faithful to Her!
Humor Her!
Regard Her as Herself!
Comfort Her!
Dwell with Her for Life!
Consult with Her! 
NO secret's between the two of you!
Not leave Her doubting!
Meaningful Communication!
Trusting God with ALL your Heart, Soul and Mind! 

FIVE Priorities of a Godly Husband
Click Link to read - 

NOW does't this Kinda Guy sounds like a real cutie for a future Husband? ;) 

so Girlfriend!! -- Love is not JUST in His looks, height, weight and color. What matters most is His Heart, i.e, if His heart is right with God. Only Godly characters is what makes Him a Cute, Handsome and of course a Romantic Husband. 
Meanwhile, Woman you must start Praying Sincerely & Honestly for God's right time - If you want a Godly Husband in your Life then Your heart should be so lost in God that a man will start to seek God in order to find you. Keep Praying and Your Prince Charming will arrive in God's Perfect Time. 

Mystery Godly Husband Solved :)

..Enjoy a Blessed Married Life..

 Read More about -  Women's Role in the plan of God.  
Click the "Happily ever after" Picture below. 
(Feel free to share Godly woman Blog and recommend. God bless.)

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