How does COMMUNICATION Affect Relationships?


The Bible has a lot to say about our relationships, including how we communicate. How we listen to others and what we say and don't say can build or destroy the connections we have with others. God tells us how to avoid many common pitfalls that can damage our relationships.

(Stephen R. Covey relates this story in the chapter about "Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People:)

"A father once told me, 'I can't understand my kid. He just won't listen to me at all.'

"'Let me restate what you just said,' I replied. 'You don't understand your son because he won't listen to you?'

"'That's right,' he replied.

"'Let me try again,' I said. 'You don't understand your son because he won't listen to you?'

"'That's what I said,' he impatiently replied.

"'I thought that to understand another person, you needed to listen to him,' I suggested.

"'Oh!' he said. There was a long pause. 'Oh!' he said again, as the light began to dawn. 'Oh, yeah! But I do understand him. I know what he's going through. I went through the same thing myself. I guess what I don't understand is why he won't listen to me.'

"This man didn't have the vaguest idea of what was really going on inside his boy's head. He looked into his own head and thought he saw the world, including his boy" (1989, pp. 239-240).


 ❦ If we speak without thinking, we too often display the fruits of thinking without God. Since God is judging our every idle word, we need to give our words careful attention.

 ❦ We need to focus on the other person and force ourselves to seek understanding of his or her point of view before sharing our own.

 ❦ Keeping our mouths shut is a sure way of not saying something bad, but we can't get through life without communicating. In fact, Proverbs 10:19 clarifies that it is a "multitude of words" that generally causes the problem. We should avoid being overly talkative and garrulous. Also we must be very careful to think before we speak and to choose our words carefully. Whatever we say should be edifying with an intent to reflect the nature of Christ and to glorify God.

 ❦ God's name is precious and sacred and deserves the highest respect, though society today so often uses it in cheap and vile ways. God allowed His name to be used in oaths and promises in the Old Testament times, but Jesus Christ told Christians to not swear at all. We should be as careful with our words and promises as if we had sworn, because as Christians we are to represent God honorably in our words and actions.

 ❦ Our words should be respectful and uplifting, whether we are talking about God or other people.

 ❦ God is a God of truth (Deuteronomy 32:4), and lying is the antithesis of His honest and holy nature. Our modern world doesn't value truth as highly, and it is so easy to justify a "little" lie when it seems to benefit us. But God hates lying and will not allow it in His Kingdom, so we must see through deceit and strive to avoid allowing lies through our lips.

 ❦ Gossip can seem delicious, but it can be deadly to even best friendships. Gossip and rumors can spread like wildfire and can be just as destructive.

 ❦ Our words can have a devastating effect on others. We can create discord and offend those who trust us. Afterwards, we can't take the words back, and trying to win back someone's trust can be a nearly impossible task as they build up walls of defenses to avoid being hurt again.

 ❦ How much better to think about our words in advance and remove the pointed ones and defuse the explosive ones!

 ❦ When gossip or offensive words are directed at us, we can struggle to avoid hatred, bitterness and a desire for revenge. As much as possible, we should ignore and try to avoid hearing these things. But sometimes we will be hurt and need to deal with the situation.

Go to link to read - BIBLE VERSES on Communication

Has any type of miss-communication affected you as an individual or your family or children or friends? if so how? Comment below to Share Your Story/incident. Thank you. God bless.