Things My Father Never Told Me About Marriage

Things My Father Never Told Me About Marriage - Lisa U Maki

I have been married for the past three years now and I have to admit that I don't have full authority over this matter as compared to those who have been married for 10, 20, 30, or more years. Yet, in these three years I have learned so much that my FATHER, our God the Father, didn't reveal to me.
I know why God didn't show me everything. I understand that He wanted me to discover it for myself. He knew that had He shown me, I would have backed out. Or maybe, even if He showed me, I still wouldn't have seen it for what it is. I was so overwhelmed with the love story that He created for me that I was just blinded from seeing what lies ahead of me.
My FATHER never told me that marriage is not just for happiness but for holiness. All I saw was a fairy tale. I have been waiting for my prince charming and so when God finally sent him to me, it was all I saw. What I am realizing now more than ever is that God uses marriage to purify us and make us holy. Others will probably say, "My marriage is just bringing the worst in me". Well, it is when we experience the worst that we know that God is exposing something from within us.
My FATHER also didn't tell me that submission is not going to be easy. I thought I knew everything about it until I got married. I am realizing now that if submission is easy, then it wouldn't be "as unto the Lord". Ephesians 5:22 (Amplified version) says... Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. Our submission to our husbands is done as a "service" to the Lord. It is not for the husband but for God. If it is so easy to submit to husbands, then it won't be an act of service anymore.
I am also realizing more than ever that submitting to my husband is submitting to God's order. 1 Peter 3:1 says...
IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them].
This surely makes it easier for me to submit.
Another thing my FATHER never told me is that respecting my husband will be one big issue that I will battle with. I thought that because I married a bold and deep man of God, I will have very high respect for him. What I didn't realize is that my being a minister and deep woman of God will make me feel like I know more than he knows, or that I am more intimate with Jesus than he is. What I am realizing now, other than my pride issues that God keeps exposing through my marriage, is that "respecting" my husband is an order from God. It is not how I feel but what God says. And this is what He says in Ephesians 5:33...
Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly).
When I began to realize this and obeyed God's Word, I started having not only respect for my husband but high respect for him. I started seeing him from God's perspective. All it took was total obedience to God's Word. Now I know why my FATHER didn't reveal that to me previously. He wanted to test how much I will obey Him. Had it been so easy to respect my husband, then there won't be any need to obey God's Word with regards to that.
My FATHER also never told me that the best way to instill change in my husband is not even by telling him about it but by being submissive to him. I have always been a very talkative girl. And God is so wise for giving me a husband who is equally, if not more than talkative. I was getting so frustrated trying to tell my husband what I want to see more in him. Then one day, 
as I was crying out to God, He led me to 1 Peter 3...

IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives.
When my FATHER finally revealed this to me, I cried all the more. It was a great realization. From then on I learned to keep quiet and lift up all my petitions to the Lord. Not too long ago my husband told me... If there is one thing you have to exercise more faith on, it is the fact that God talks to me about you.
Lastly, my FATHER never told me that in this marriage, I have to keep my mouth shut most of the time. This was a difficult realization for me. I have always fought for my rights... defended myself... and explained my side. Shutting my mouth when I believe I am right was such a struggle. This actually brought about a lot of our marital fights. It was during a tough time one night when I was complaining to God about my husband and He told me... I know what you're going through. I was mocked, insulted, spat at... That's when I realized that Jesus was making me more and more like Him. When I saw things from His perspective, I learned to shut up. Sometimes I still slip but I am getting better in this area. As a result, I am experiencing more peace in my marriage.
There are so many other things which my FATHER never told me and which He is beginning to reveal to me one by one as I walk this journey of marriage. I will be sharing more with you in the next issues to come.
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit Article Source: Article Source: