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Saturday, August 17, 2013

3 Reasons Why Silent Treatments Are Abusive

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Three Reasons Why Silent Treatments Are Abusive
By Karla Downing

Are you looking for Christian relationship help that enables you to understand why silent treatments are abusive? When someone refuses to talk to you for hours, days, or weeks whether it is initiating conversation or responding to your comments, it is extremely uncomfortable. The silence screams anger at you even if the person is in the other room. Here are three reasons why silent treatments are abusive:

They are punitive. Abuse has to do with punishment that is designed to teach you a lesson so you will make a different choice the next time. The choice you are supposed to make is whatever the abuser wants you to do rather than what you think is right for you. Abuse always involves punishment.

They are controlling. All abusers seek to control their victims. When someone controls you it means they use manipulation that is designed to override your free will. The pressure is purposeful and targeted. Silent treatments do affect your choices because they are so unpleasant especially when they go on for days or weeks.

They are disrespectful. Respect has to do with valuing you as a person and an individual regardless of whether or not you please someone. You have the right to be noticed and to be validated. When someone refuses to acknowledge you, respond to you, or speak to you, the message that is being sent is that you are not valuable enough to be noticed. Abuse always devalues its victims.

God doesn't condone abuse in relationships. He values free will, respect, choice and love. Abuse doesn't value any of those things. 

1 John 4:18 says, "there is no fear in love because fear has to do with punishment." Silent treatments are just one of the many tactics abusive people use to incite fear to get what they want in their relationships.

If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life. Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.comKarla Downing is an author, speaker, and marriage and family therapist. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships through Biblical truths and practical tools. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7156336 Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karla_Downing . Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7156336


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