Moving On - Will It Really Solve Your Problems

Moving On - Will It Really Solve Your Problems? -  Steve Wickham

Are you at that point where you're tossing up tossing in the towel? We all get to this point at many times in our lives -- the aggro, stress, and issues that we're forced to deal with get us down and there seems no way out. And there's the common denominator: people. Even people in our own families try our patience. But will 'moving on' really sort out our problems? We think so; we fool ourselves into thinking the grass is greener over the fence. And somehow deep down we know it won't change things, but we think this way in any event.
I know of a guy who left a church after he found he couldn't get on with the people in leadership there. The longer he tried to get on the more disgruntled he got. Seemingly little problems became big issues for this late-twenties guy. He couldn't reconcile it and would find himself stewing over the issues when alone, and central to his problems were the people at that church... apparently.
Organisations have one thing also in common: people. It would be an oxymoron to refer to a "peopleless organisation." And it stands to reason there's an idiot who can wind you up on every team and within every group of people. There's no escaping it.
How can we learn to deal with the temptation to 'move on?' I find the following worthy of a second look:
1. Acknowledge the truth; that is, people are people -- iron sharpens iron. Interacting with people is a positive character-building opportunity. Character-building opportunities are by definition, tough. But, they're often worth it because they teach you as much about yourself as you can learn about the other person.
2. If you're having problems with people, those same people might be having problems with you; try and see things from another's viewpoint. This will require some humility.
3. Seek counsel. Talk to someone you trust or look to for advice on how to deal with your problem.
4. The grass is rarely greener on the other side. It only looks that way. Try and reach a point of 'moving on' from the issue through acceptance. No life situation is perfect.
5. If you really feel you need to move on (see my article "When It's Time to Move On" which is at: the best thing you can do is plan, and when you've finished planning, plan just a little more. Try and get as much of a chance of a successful 'exit' as you can. It's a question of risk management -- reduce the risk of excessive pain from change through planning. Plan; then execute the plan.
Don't 'move on' simply because you don't like the people in the organisation you work for or deal with. Try and get on with people as much as you can; it's the best way to go. If you do leave on a whim, it can backfire badly and at the end of the day, you could end up losing the seniority you've worked hard for and having to deal with the same issue: people.
Importantly, when you do choose to move on, do it in a way that ensures success. Learn your lessons before you get going, be thankful for them, and then make the move. Again, plan ahead. Try and foresee problems and prepare for them. If you do this, you'll have a great chance of a successful move, whether it's moving home, moving jobs, or moving churches. You'll make as pain-free a change as is possible.

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's interest in psychology is matched by years of experience in the psychology of safety in workplaces. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us. Article Source:  Article Source:

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