Forgive Does Not Necessarily Mean Forget
By Lisa U Maki
Forgiving someone is easier said than done, more so if that person has hurt you so badly and has ruined your life. I mean, how can you just forgive your own father who molested you since you were a kid? How can you forgive a rapist or a murderer for that matter? How can you just let go of some injustice done to you? The painful and gruesome memories continue to haunt you. You are constantly reminded of the opportunities you could have had if not for that incident. The hurtful words they have spoken echo in your mind like a tape recorder.
Do you realize how these feelings of unforgiveness give the people who have hurt you the power over you? This is the very reason why our enemy, the devil, does not want us to forgive. And this is the very reason why our Savior, Jesus, wants us to release forgiveness.
My objective for this article is to make it easier for you to forgive someone by explaining to you what forgiveness is really all about.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting. You just can't easily forget those painful memories. They have a mind of their own. They continue coming back even if you don't even think about them. And when the memories are brought back, they surely hurt so bad. This is why "forgive and forget" don't go together. Forgetting is a process that may take a very, very, very long time. So, if we are to wait for our hurt feelings to go away, then we won't be able to forgive.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God. We forgive not because we feel like forgiving but because we love God and want to obey what He says. Forgiveness is our part, forgetting is God's part. When we make the decision to forgive, out of obedience to God, then He takes care of our hurt feelings and brings us into a healing process.
Forgiveness is about releasing the person's control over you. It is for you and not for the person who has hurt you. It is for your own peace of mind. It is like saying to the person who has inflicted pain on you: "You are not going to hurt me anymore. Here, take my hurts and everything you've done to me".
Forgiveness does not mean accepting that person who has hurt you, back into your life, more so if your life will be in danger. It doesn't mean going to the person directly to say that you've forgiven him or her. These are two of the biggest reasons that make it very difficult for people to forgive. They think that they have to connect again with the people who have hurt them. Not at all!
And once you've made that decision to release forgiveness, then it's done. If you still feel hurt, that's okay. As I've said, the forgetting and healing part is a process that can take a long time. Each time you remember the incident, or hear the hurtful words, or feel the pain, just say, "I have already released forgiveness".
Here is a prayer that you can use to release forgiveness over a person or people.
Father in Heaven, You are a very forgiving God whose mercies endure forever. You are also a God who knows me perfectly well. You know my innermost thoughts. You know my hurts. You know everything I've been through. It is not easy for me to forgive (name of persons/people who have hurt you) but because you said that I have to forgive, I will do it, regardless of how I feel. I release forgiveness for (name of persons/people who have hurt you). Be the one to vindicate me, as you've promised. And please take care of my feelings, Lord. I want to be healed from all these. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6917430