Controlling Your Tongue - 2 Ways

Controlling Your Tongue - 2 Ways - Steve Wickham

This is not so much about elocution, or nerves, but it's everything to do with control over what we say. Most of us put our feet in our mouths, or we all say the wrong thing, or upset people, at least occasionally.
Two rules on speech are:
1. Say less generally. You'd be amazed at how much training goes in for people on communication skills that's related to listening. It's a common cause of communication and relationship breakdown -- failure to listen. Listening is not hard to learn per se but it requires much discipline.
When you think about it, saying less and listening more actually relieves us of pressure to think of what to say. We'd get in less trouble by not saying the wrong things, or by not saying the right things at the wrong time, or in the wrong way. We also set ourselves apart to the ones we listen to as being more respectful and caring. That's a great result!
2. Speak only when asked to respond, or to not fail others by omission.
Controlling your tongue is quite easy in theory.
1) Don't say anything unless it will contribute positively,
2) Speak up if you really need to, for instance, to warn others (through non-omission, i.e. tell them something that you don't have to, but you know will help) and to defend others.
How often do people speak about others out-of-turn and the absent cannot defend themselves -- but, you can be their quiet defender. Don't you just love that 'goose-bumps' feeling you get from standing up for others?
Occasionally, you will be required to initiate speaking; this is when the 4-Way Test should be applied, as you, the initiator, want every chance of successfully communicating the message.
Speech was never really designed to be used to defend or boast of ourselves, yet we all seem to do abuse speech in these ways. Our challenge is to discipline our desires for kudos by speaking less, listening more, and using speak to build others up and not tear them down. Think of how good your relationships could be and how much respect you could command. Now, that's kudos worth striving for... as the old Proverb says, "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips."

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham.  All Rights Reserved Worldwide.Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living and an exploration of the person within us, and especially the breaking of gener ational curses.Article Source:  Article Source:

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