Absorbing a Hurt

Absorbing a Hurt -  Steve Wickham

What do you do when you suddenly find yourself in a conversation where the other person says, "You need to adjust your attitude, you so and so"? Or perhaps you hear second-hand that you're the target of some slander or a rumour? What's your response?
Without doubt one of the most enduring qualities of any human being is the ability to withstand a verbal assault from another person. It takes real courage to do this and real love to withstand the temptation to become hurt and stay open to forgiving the offender. "Absorbing a hurt" is quite simply a heavenly resilience that is only achieved by a true faith, based in love and supported by a fervent hope.
Think of a limestone block, the kind that goes into building a massive wall or solid fence. These blocks appear solid but in reality they're very porous -- when it rains, they absorb a lot of water. Like the limestone block, we too have the ability to absorb a lot of adverse 'stuff' that could injure us. The key is safe absorption -- safe dissipation is equally important.
Resilience in a word is the ability to truly bounce back quickly from an assault on your person. It is not pretending you're not hurt when in fact you are -- it is the ability to rebound without scars; to come back to the fold without becoming 'damaged goods.'
Add to resilience the ability to accept the assault and learn and grow from it, and remain entirely free to love the offender, and even forgive him or her before they've asked for it. I think this is the very essence of love. As the famous lines of 1 Corinthians 13 read, love never failsIt always protects, always trusts, always hopes, [and it] always perseveres.
So, how do we enhance our resilience and absorption abilities, promoting the loving reaction that protects against lasting hurt?
1. Remember simply that hurt people hurt people. If you remember this always you'll actually feel sorry for those who attempt to harm you. You'll never close your heart to them; you'll never totally condemn them.
2. Simply know that if you do not give up, you'll gain more power and ability by getting through this tough experience.
3. When you're 'in the moment,' suffering a verbal attack, try and remain as calm as you can. Suggest the other person call back or talk with you when they've settled down. Don't endure more of the same if you can help it.
4. Practice forgiveness, even if it feels wrong. This is an act of the will. You can actually behave yourself into thinking differently. It's easier than you think.
5. Forgiveness is ALWAYS the answer. This is one thing that sets Christianity apart from all other religions because it makes it relational. God forgives us, and we know his grace (his undeserved favour) and he does this so we will model it -- that is the purpose of salvation and redemption. It is never right to not forgive. To not forgive is to condemn. Love never condemns in the absolute sense.
6. Forgiving does not mean trusting. If someone hurts you, it would make no sense to allow that person to hurt you the same way again. You may need to trust them again, but they should earn your trust back in most situations. But, you can still treat them with dignity.
7. Dissipation is necessary too. Sharing with a friend or praying about it are very effective ways to 'let it go' so the hurts don't have a lasting harming effect.

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham.  All Rights Reserved Worldwide.Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living and an exploration of the person within us, and especially the breaking of gener ational curses.Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Wickham  Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1218422

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