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Friday, November 28, 2014

7 Tips to Save and Restore Your Marriage

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A good Christian marriage is not immune to marital problems. You can read all about it in various books about Christian marriage and sexuality. But most of us also know it from our personal experiences in Christian marriage.

As Christians, we are called to be an example to the world of how a marriage should be, how we should fix problems within a Christian marriage. My wife and I have experienced some of the classic problems in our Christian marriage, but at one point we hit rock-bottom with marital problems, relationship problems, and sexuality problems. With much prayer, dedication, and many books and seminars on how to save and fix your Christian marriage, we have learned some simple guidelines and tips to save and restore Christian marriages that we always share with Christian couples we provide counsel to.

Here are our 7 Tips to Save and Restore Your Christian Marriage.

1. Pray. What else will make your Christian marriage any different from any other troubled marriage? The average marriage has less than a 50% chance of success.

2. Tell your spouse that you will never give up on fixing your troubled marriage, the most esteemed christian relationship.

3. Find an accountability partner of the same sex to confide in about your problems with your marriage, sexuality, and communication. He or she should be someone who will work with you to save and restore your marriage, the Christian way.

4. Make a list and check it twice. You are most likely equally to blame for the problems in your marriage, and being in a Christ-centered marriage means being completely dedicated to it. You should make a list of ways that you know you have contributed to the troubled marriage, whether it is financial problems, sexual problems, or interpersonal problems. This is a great way to get some communication and healing started.

5. Quit fighting with your spouse, it only leads to more problems in your marriage, a marriage that is Christian and should be an example to the world. Even if your spouse tries to fight, you must be committed to saving and restoring your marriage with your soul mate.

6. It doesn't always take two. We have spoke to many partners in Christian marriages who tell us their spouse is done trying to fix their relationship. They want to give up. The truth is that in a Christian marriage you are tied together in a spiritual way, despite marital problems and an overall troubled relationship. You have to be willing to save and restore your marriage even when your spouse doesn't want to keep trying to fix your relationship and end the marital problems.

7. Identify the specific problems in your Christian union. You have to do more. There is no way reading an article can save and restore your Christian marriage. 

You need to look for additional tools to fix your relationship problems. Find and target specific areas of problems in your relationship, like sexuality or finances, and find tools to fix them. When you have identified specific areas, look for the best book or forum about that specific topic and never give up. You CAN save and restore your marriage!

Daniel Stone is a leader of a young adults group at his local church. He and his wife Olivia have been married for 17 years. They contribute to a new, grassroots website for Christian sexuality, marriage, and family. Check it out! http://www.BetterChristianRelationships.com/] Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daniel_E._Stone

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  1. I do not agree AT ALL with sharing your problems with another person of the same sex...they should be consulted with your partner. Other than that a lot of this stuff makes sense.

  2. but when one's partner has lost all desire for any form of sensual or physical contact at all, when your partner is not able to hug or kiss on the cheek when one partner becomes stiff as ice if you caress her anywhere on the body where insufficient any physical contact for three years and no sex life at 8 is near life feels pointless you just wish you do not have to wake up in the morning ..... when you can not be bothered to ask for help anymore when it feels as if God scoffs at a fixed it is he who has entered my instincts in me .......... is so sad and tired of life ..........

    1. So sorry Sven. You must seek out a counseling for yourself to help you work through this. My heart goes out to you because my ex was also very cold and proud. You must believe that God wants better for you. I believe that God gives us the option of divorce when a partner doesn't fulfill their marital duties. But let me say, being divorced and single doesn't mean you won't have different problems. Rely on the Lord Jesus to fill you with His love. He sees you as His wonderful son and wants so much to meet every need you have. When you are so full of the love of Christ, the lust subsides and a glimpse of heaven is given.