Why She Is Looking For a Father Figure

Why She Is Looking For a Father Figure -  Lisa U Maki

I grew up so hungry for a father's love. I wanted his attention oh so bad, and so, I looked for this love from someone else... so goes the first few lines of a song I've written a year ago about my testimony. If I were to trace back where my being wayward began, I can trace it back to the void I had inside of me for a father's love. It's not that my father didn't love me, and it's not that he was not physically there. I was his firstborn. I took after him in a lot of ways. I knew he was proud of me. Yet, he never expressed it. That non-expression of his love was no different from not feeling loved at all. Love has to be expressed and not kept.
This longingness for a father's love made me so vulnerable to any kind of attention that men gave me, making me an easy prey for their lustful desires. As I grew older, I became more attracted to much older men. They represented the father that I've always wanted to have... the father who cares for me... the father who loves me... the father who protects me. Unfortunately, they were not my father and will never be.
My hunger for a father's love got me pregnant and married at the age of 19, a marriage that was solely on paper, a marriage that lasted for 10 years, a marriage that left me more bruised and wounded, a marriage that made me ask "why"... "why can't I just have love?"
It is this search for love that has led to women's downfalls. This love was placed inside our hearts by our Creator. It was meant to be fulfilled, which is why we keep searching for it until we get it. Since the first man in any girl's life is her father, the absence of this love during those growing up years will leave a big void in her heart. She will continue searching for it only to realize that she is searching in vain.
Those who have been deprived of love are the ones who get so hungry for love, yet they don't even know what love is because they have not experienced it. They are searching in vain because they don't know what they are looking for. They jump from one relationship to the next only to end back to square one. This was my story... a story that led to my discovery of what love is all about.
A day came when I got so sick and tired of my relationships. I cried before God and told Him how exhausted I was. He heard my serious cry for help. Not long after, he sent me a man of God who led me to Jesus. Thus was the beginning of my love story.
Let me share with you several verses from Ezekiel 16 that really spoke to me, as if God wrote it just for me.
5No eye pitied you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for your person was abhorrent and loathsome on the day that you were born. 

6And when I passed by you and saw you rolling about in your blood, I said to you in your blood, Live! Yes, I said to you still in your natal blood, Live!

7I caused you to multiply as the bud which grows in the field, and you increased and became tall and you came to full maidenhood and beauty; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown, yet you were naked and bare.
8Now I passed by you again and looked upon you; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love, and I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I plighted My troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord, and you became Mine.
9Then I washed you with water; yes, I thoroughly washed away your [clinging] blood from you and I anointed you with oil.
I cried tears of joy when I first read this in my Bible. That's when I started feeling the intense love of the Savior for me. It made me hungrier for His love which made me draw closer to Him. I started reading His love letters... the Word of God... the Bible... and I started understanding what love is all about.
Matthew 22:37-39 says...
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
It all starts with loving God. Or better yet, it all starts by God loving us. 1 John 4:19 says: We love because He first loved us. It was only when I began to receive God's love that I learned to love Him back. And this love that I have for God allowed me to love myself and others. I didn't love myself then because I didn't know love. I didn't know love because I didn't have love. I didn't have love because I didn't have God.
When I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior and made that decision to commit my life to Him, I received His love. This love opened doors to healing and deliverance for me. It pacified my restless heart. It taught me how to give love the right way.
The absence of an earthly figure in my life led me to a journey of finding that love, which led me to the source of Love, God, who is Love Himself. Now I can say that I have indeed found not only a father figure but my true love.
I started this article with an excerpt of my song, now let me end it with a poem I wrote entitled TRUE LOVE.
A word that cuts across race, generation, religion, and culture...
A concept that confounds even the wisest man on this planet...
A feeling that makes even the strongest and bravest man so vulnerable...
An encounter that distracts even the most focused and disciplined person...
An experience that is unavoidable even if we try to run away from it...
A pang on the chest that makes us laugh and cry at the same time...
There is something about love that has a sting to it... a lingering effect... an addictive substance... a magnetizing power.
No one can ever close her doors on love.
When it comes, it comes.
No one can ever deny her need for love.
Why? Because God created us out of love.
He is LOVE Himself.
And therefore, we are "love" beings - with a great need to love and be loved.
Apart from LOVE, we will never experience love the way it was designed.
The more we fall in love with LOVE, the more we experience love.
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki  Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6739353