How many of us, wives, really understand our role to esteem our husbands? How many of us will be able to call our husbands "Lord" the way Sarah called Abraham? How many of us find it a privilege and honor to serve our husbands? How many of us think of serving our husbands the way Queen Esther looked at serving her husband and King?
Some may say that it was easy for Sarah to call her husband Lord because he was a godly man. Others may say that it was easy for Queen Esther to esteem her husband because he was the King. Let me correct these opinions and point you to the truth.
Abraham may have been a godly man but look what he put his wife into, not just once but twice.
First time...
Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down into Egypt to live temporarily, for the famine in the land was oppressive (intense and grievous). And when he was about to enter into Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, I know that you are beautiful to behold. So when the Egyptians see you, they will say, This is his wife; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say, I beg of you, that you are my sister, so that it may go well with me for your sake and my life will be spared because of you. And when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into Pharaoh's house [harem] (Genesis 12:10-15).
Second time...
Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the South country (the Negeb) and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur; and he lived temporarily in Gerar. And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister. And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah [into his harem] (Genesis 20:1-2).
In both instances, God protected Sarah and He prevented both Kings from touching her.
Now tell me... is this the kind of husband deserving to be called Lord? How can a wife call her husband Lord if she can't even trust that he will protect her?
Let's go to Queen Esther now. The King, Esther's husband, was not a member of God's chosen people. In short, he was pagan. How can a Jew, chosen by God, esteem a husband who is pagan?
Looking at Sarah and Esther, it is pretty evident that they honored and reverenced their husbands as obedience to God, and not because their husbands deserved it.
This being said, God's command to us, wives, to respect and honor our husbands does not have anything to do with whether they deserve it or not, or whether they are doing their part or not. This is a big problem I've seen over and over again with women, more so those I am counseling. They always have the "buts"... "But my husband is not loving me"... "But my husband is so irresponsible"... But my husband is this and that. It is a never-ending list of excuses as to why they can't obey God in the area of submission and esteeming their husbands.
Ephesians 5:33, The Amplified Bible, gives a very accurate definition of esteeming our husbands.
"Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."
Do you see all those adjectives I underlined? And how about that last word, "exceedingly"? This amplified version surely makes it appear like we should treat our husbands as some idol or something like that. No wonder Sarah called Abraham Lord.
You may say, "I only have one Lord and He is my God". Well, your God says in His Word...
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]...
It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you (1 Peter 3:1 & 6).
God commanded us to submit to our own husbands, which was defined here as subordinating to, being secondary to, dependent on, and adapting to. This was the way Sarah submitted to Abraham, "calling him Lord". And we are true daughters of Sarah if we do what she did.
Do you realize that being Sarah's daughters means that we are a part of God's family? Abraham is the father of Israel, and since us, true believers have been grafted in, Abraham is also our father in faith, which makes Sarah our mother. So unless we wives do what Sarah did, calling our husbands Lord, and treating them as such, we are not considered her daughters. This is deep!
What a tall command from our God. And if you love God the way I do, wanting to obey Him totally, then you will follow what He is commanding us to do. Anything done out of total obedience and love for Him makes things easier, no matter how difficult they may be.
Don't get me wrong. I totally understand though how difficult it is for a wife to respect a husband who can't even provide for his family, a husband who is a porn-addict, a husband who is always drunk, a husband who is addicted to drugs, a husband who spends more time with his friends than with his family, and so on and so forth.
Let me give you some practical advice on this one. There is always something good in every person. Find that good thing about your husband, focus on it, and admire him for it. I read a story about a wife whose husband was not worthy of respect. However, he was a very good Dad and so she focused on this one and really esteemed her husband's good traits as a father. This also made her son look up to and admire his dad.
My husband is far from perfect but he is the best for me. I can't imagine being married to someone else. Though there are things he did in the past or maybe things he still falls into every now and then that can justify my losing respect for him, there are so many things that I'd rather focus on. For these I can say that "I have the best husband", and you can do the same thing.
I challenge you today my fellow help-meets. Find all the good things about your husband and start praising him for these. Do it wholeheartedly knowing that God is pleased. Keep telling yourself and others, "I have the best husband". Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue. The more you say this, the better he will really be for you.
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