God Knows Who You Need - Lisa U Maki
Single women have this concept of an ideal husband in their minds. This picture of a husband is influenced by several factors including the men in their lives, their bad experiences, what society thinks, culture, and traditions, to name a few.
A woman who had a very good relationship with his father may think of her dad as the ideal husband. On the contrary, a woman who didn't have a good relationship with her father may think of an ideal man as the opposite of her dad. A woman brought up by a very responsible father may look at "being responsible" as the quality of an ideal husband. A woman who was betrayed by a good looking man may settle for a less good looking man. A woman who grew up in a culture where men open the doors for women may look at "being a gentleman" as a strong quality of her ideal man. The list can go endless.
Now when a woman gets reborn and discovers Jesus, her standards for an ideal man is even raised higher. Now she wants a man who is like Jesus... a man who will lead her closer to God... a man who will be her covering... a man who will love her as Christ loves the church... a man who is after God's own heart.
Then she meets this man who appears to have the qualities she is looking for in a husband. She prays for God's perfect will and gets a leading from the Lord that this man is the one for her. She gets married to him only to realize later on that he is far from the man she thought he was. She then goes back to the Lord crying and asking, "Did I make a mistake, God?"
Let me tell you something...
God doesn't make mistakes. If you sought His perfect will for your husband, then it is what it is. If you didn't seek His perfect will for your marriage, then it is still His perfect will for you to be the help-meet that He called you to be. The problem is not your husband but you.
Now don't stop reading this. You have to hear the truth here. I will say it again. THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND BUT YOU. You've created a picture in your mind of how you wanted him and want him to be. Have you ever considered how God wants him to be? Have you ever considered how God wants him to be for you? What if God wants him to be unloving for the time being so you will realize that only God can give you the love you've been looking for? What if God is allowing him to be rude to you so you will learn to be patient and exercise self-control? What if God wants him to be as difficult as he is so that you will be so desperate for God's help? What if God is letting you go through all these trials so he can test how obedient you can be to His Word and instructions on being a wife?
You think I'm being harsh? Well, I am being straightforward with you. I can talk about this with so much passion because I've been there. I saw my husband in a vision first before I met him in person. I sought God for His perfect will and I got revelation after revelation that he is the one for me. My husband also knew I was the one for him. Against all odds, and after almost being married to someone else, God intervened and still got us back together. All the circumstances surrounding our pre-marriage and marriage prove beyond any iota of doubt that my husband and I are meant to be together. Still, there were times when I questioned God because of what I've experienced during the first years of the marriage. Several times I wanted to run away. Several times I thought I was married to the wrong man... not the man I thought he was.
But the God who knew what was best for me did not even give me an opportunity to run away. He created a situation of "no way out" for me. I became so desperate for Him and I sought for answers. What I am sharing with you now is the result of all my trials, desperation for God, and my earnest seeking. I finally got it!
It is about you!!! But it is not what you think you need. It's what God knows you need. He is more concerned about your healing, your restoration, your transformation, your obedience, and your faith. He wants you to bear the fruits of the spirit as a result of this marriage. He wants you to become the best that He has made you to be. However, the worst will come out first before the best sets in.
So stop complaining about your husband. Stop thinking that maybe you made a mistake. Submit to what God is doing and do your part as a wife. Of course it is a different story if your husband is physically abusive. If that's the case, then get out of your house and find protection.
I am not just talking to wives here but also to women who have been waiting for their promised men. I am not telling you to settle for crumbs. I am not telling you to lower your standards for your husband to be. What I am telling you is to submit to God's perfect will for you. Stop telling God what you want. Start asking Him what He wants. Your future marriage will not be about you getting what you want. It is about God getting what He wants from you, from the marriage.
Nobody told me this before I got married, which is why I am telling you now.
Remember that marriage is about love. And when we use God's standards on love, as stated in 1 Corinthians 13, we know that this is not going to be an easy road. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love is not easily offended. This was one of my weaknesses because I am one person who is easily offended. I am highly sensitive to any form of rudeness or criticism. God knew this so well, so he gave me a husband who challenged me in this area. It went on and on until I finally got it... until I finally learned to hold my head up, toughen up, and brush off any feeling of offense.
Are you getting my point?
Marriage is a place where God can totally heal us, deliver us, and perfect that which concerns us. It is about strengthening us and making us more obedient to His Word. How can we be strengthened except through trials? How can we be made more obedient except when we are desperate for solutions?
God gave me sleepless nights to teach me how to let go of feelings of hurt and offense. I thought I was just having some sleeping problems until God showed me what the root cause was. Until I learned to finally let go of all those unnecessary emotions, God also didn't let me get the sleep that I was so desperate for.
I am who I am in this walk because of how God has toughened me up. This toughening happened through the trials and struggles I've been through in my marriage. And as I continue to submit to God's perfect will and plan, He continues to bless me in my marriage, more than what I have asked for.
I was actually the one holding the key to the unveiling of the man of God that my husband was created to be. Once I learned using this key through my total submission and obedience to God, then it opened doors to an abundance of love, joy, and peace in my marriage.
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7313639