What To Do When Your Wife Disrespects You - By Daniel P Robertson
"You NEVER help out around here!"
You are taken aback by these words. You've had a long and stressful day at work, and you've barely been home for 10 minutes. And now your wife is throwing this unjust accusation at you.
Who does she think she is?
You remember with clarity how you washed the dishes the night before. You took care of the kids so she could have some time to relax. You helped with the laundry... you took out the trash... you mowed the lawn...
Isn't it enough that you provide for the family?
Apparently, enough is never enough with this woman! You just can't keep her happy!
What do you do?
Do you point out everything you've done to help out? Do you lash out in anger? Do you point out all of the things SHE hasn't done? Do you shut down and refuse to talk to her... for 3 days?
What do you have to do to get a little respect around here?
Do you point out that God commands her to respect you?
If you try it, I'd like to hear how it goes. It should make for an entertaining read.
What Disrespect Really Means
Your wife isn't trying to make you mad. She isn't acting disrespectful on purpose.
She's reaching out to you for help.
She has a need that is going unmet. It could be that the kids were especially difficult and she just needs a break. Or you have been emotionally detached and she is feeling unloved. Perhaps she is just experiencing stress in her relationships with other family or friends.
In most cases her disrespectful actions toward you is a direct result of your unloving actions towards her. This is what is described as the crazy cycle in the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.
What is the crazy cycle?
Simply put, when you act in ways that makes your wife feel unloved, her tendency will to respond with disrespect. You, being hurt by this, will continue to act unlovingly towards her. It creates a cycle of hurt and abuse that can only be stopped when one of you makes the decision to stop your hurtful behavior and to start serving and loving the other instead.
I suggest you be the one to man up and take responsibility.
If you feel like your wife disrespects you, there is only three things you should do:
If the problem is you, fix it. Apologize to her. Pay attention to what she needs from you. Fill up her love tank.
If it's something else, find out if you can help her. Handle the kids for a while. Let her take a break. Give her time to go out with her girlfriends.
And don't take it personally.
Now, I realize that this advice is pretty vague, but it's important that you let it sink in. If you live honorably and make sure your wife feels your love for her you will do well. Now let's move on to some more practical advice. Here are some things you can do to help your wife when she is having a difficult time:
These tips might seem simple, but if you follow them you will begin to build an atmosphere of healthy love and respect in your home. You won't be able to completely avoid the crazy cycle, but it should help it to happen less often.
Learn more about how you can build a strong Christian marriage by visiting Daniel Robertson's website at http://www.godshelpformarriage.com. He offers a variety of resources to help Christians build better marriages. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daniel_P_Robertson Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7262042
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