Don't Nurse Your Hurts - Lisa U Maki
There I was praying to God and expressing myself to Him. I start crying as I lay my hurts before His feet. It feels so painful. I feel it stabbing my chest. I stay in His presence asking Him why I have to go through all these. I then move on with my day feeling so heavy. It still hurts. When will these hurts ever leave me? I hear voices in my head, inflicting more pain on me. I cry again.
Does this sound familiar to you? This was my situation then. I used to wallow in my hurts not because I want to but because I didn't know any better. I didn't understand that once I give it to Jesus I have to turn away from it and forget about it.
"Nursing hurts" come naturally for us, women. I don't even have to teach you how to do it. All you have to do is think about your hurts and you will surely be affected the whole day and can even extend for days, weeks, months, and even years. We can nurse these hurts even in our prayers. We may think that what we are doing is expressing our feelings to God but actually, we are allowing our hurts to sink deeper.
Another way to nurse our hurts is to keep talking about it. This is a big problem with us, women. We love to talk about our problems with others, thinking that it will make us feel better. We may feel better for a while but it surely doesn't last long. The more we talk about our problems, the more we think about them, the more we nurse them, and the more we get hurt. It is like picking on a wound instead of allowing it to heal.
So how do we not nurse our hurts?
First, the first One you need to talk to when you are hurting is Jesus. Go express yourself to Him. Go cry your heart out. But then, thank Him for what you are going through. Thank Him for His comfort. Thank Him that He is perfecting that which concerns you. Thank Him for the testimony that will come out of your hurts.
Look at David's Psalms. No matter how much he expressed his grief, disappointments, and hurts to the Lord, he always thanked and praised Him in the end, or even at the start of his prayer.
Thanking God in the midst of your hurts will uplift your spirits. Philippians 4:6-7 says:
Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.
And God's peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Secondly, leave your hurts at the foot of the cross. Don't bring it with you. Each time you think about your hurts... each time you allow your hurts to affect you... each time you talk about it with others... you are taking it from Jesus back to you.
Thirdly, focus your mind on Jesus and things that concern Him. Honestly, I know how difficult it is to focus on anything when you are hurting. What has helped me a lot is running and engaging in certain hobbies like "crocheting". When I run on the treadmill, I play some praise music and other Christian music that have fast beats. It uplifts me and makes me forget about my hurts. When I run outdoors, nature itself envelops me and I start worshipping the Lord. When I crochet in the midst of my hurts I play some instrumental worship music and it soothes my soul.
Fourth, think of your hurts as God exposing something about yourself to you. I don't know about you but I want to be more and more like Jesus. I want more of Him and less of me. So each time He exposes something to me about me, I know that He is getting rid of a part of me that should not be there anymore. This is part of God's discipline, and His discipline is surely not fun.
Nowadays, when I get hurt, I ask God what He is trying to expose to me. He never fails to show me what issue He is dealing with, whether it is pride, being easily offended, fear, or insecurity.
So instead of worrying why the other person has hurt you (which will just add to your hurts), ask God to show you why you are hurting, and what issues you have within you that He is working on.
Fifth, think about what the other person (the one who hurt you) is going through, or what he/she was going through when the hurt was inflicted on you. Remember the saying: "Hurting people hurt people? The reason why that other person hurt you is because of something going on inside of him or her.
I remember an incident when I was hurt by my husband's remark. I just let out a sigh because I didn't want to get into an argument with him. I then proceeded with my chores and I started praying for God to show me what my husband is going through. God surely showed me what it was that he was going through at that time. I began to pray for him and my hurt was gone! When I went to the bedroom to call him for dinner, he hugged me and asked for forgiveness. He told me what he was going through and all I could tell him was, "I know. God told me".
Praying for the person who has hurt you takes the focus away from your hurt.
Sixth, just ignore it. How I wish I can do this so easily and more often. I am still learning this part. It's funny how I learned this from my grandmother-in-law. She has dementia now and she still uses the same "ignoring" tactic to avoid any confrontations or arguments. It seems like this behavior is stored in her long term memory, for her to even remember it.
Anyway, "gramma" used to change the topic immediately each time my husband brings up a topic that she doesn't want to deal with. When she was still in her very early stage of dementia, and after we moved to her house to care for her, she was so mad with my dog all the time. One day, when we were in the car (with my husband), she started scolding me for having that dog. She forgot that I had my dog, Piko, long before we moved to her place. She didn't want to accept any of my explanations so my husband defended my side. They got into an argument and my husband said something that scared "gramma". I don't exactly remember but I believe it had something to do with us just moving out so she can just transfer to an adult home (which she dreads). Oh she changed the topic so fast. She pointed to a truck and said, "Look at that big truck", as if nothing happened.
Seventh, release forgiveness quickly. No matter how you feel, release that forgiveness. Tell the Lord, "Father, I release forgiveness for that person". And once you release it, don't take it back. Each time you remember the hurt, remind yourself that you have already released forgiveness.
All these tips I am sharing with you are the result of being hurt so many times and wallowing in my hurt forever. God surely allowed me to go through that so I can impart all these to you. All you have to do is apply it in your lives.
Feel free to share your stories with me, more so testimonies on how this article has helped you.
God bless you!
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7108947