Cheat-Proof Your Marriage - Lisa U Maki
I have been cheated on several times by my ex-husband and I have also cheated on him. I have been on both sides of the fence, which gives me some authority over this subject. What I am going to share with you is not only some theories that I have read but actual experiences I have been through.
1. Build your marriage on God.
My first marriage was the result of sin. I fornicated and therefore got pregnant. It was definitely not a godly or Biblical marriage, which was why it failed. I didn't understand the power of prayer. In fact, I didn't really know how to pray effectively. I was also so ignorant of the Word of God.
Any marriage surrendered to God and built on God will overcome any temptation that comes its way. A husband and wife who pray together will surely drive the demons away. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that A three-fold cord can't be broken.
2. Prioritize your marriage.
Being a wife is your primary calling and job. Nothing and no one should come ahead of your husband - not your children, not your parents, not your sibling, not your ministry, not your church members, not your job, not your trip to the spa or salon, not the malls, not your chores, and not anything. When you prioritize your marriage, everything falls into its proper place.
3. Serve your husband to the best of your ability.
A wise woman of God once told me: If you don't appreciate your husband, somebody will do it for him. The Bible instructs the wife to "respect and reverence her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]." (Ephesians 5:33)
When the husband is highly appreciated by his wife, no other compliment from other women can be appealing to him. In fact, he will think or say, "I know because my wife tells me so".
Appreciating and esteeming your husband is just one facet of serving him. Other ways of serving him include cooking for him, keeping the house in order for him, giving him back rubs, and being available for him when he needs you. This is actually the definition of being a help-meet - you are to "help meet his needs".
When you serve your husband to the best of your ability, no woman will be able to match you. If somebody wants to steal my husband from me, I will make her compete with me and she will easily lose (lol). Seriously, I know that no one can ever match up to what I do for my husband. This is the kind of confidence that comes from a wife who has learned to serve her husband faithfully and with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength.
4. Always look good for your husband.
Don't you ever tell me that your husband should accept you for who you are which is why you don't need to look good for him. I won't buy this crap. This is a perfect cop out.
Proverbs 31:22 says: She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. This refers to some outer appearance and not just some inner beauty.
I am not talking about vanity here. I am referring to your desire to always be pleasing in your husband's eyes. Wear something he loves to see on you. Put on some cologne or perfume that he loves. Wear your hair the way he likes it. Make yourself very pleasant in his sight. When you do this, no woman out there will be able to lure him. He may look at women every now and then, but not long enough to fantasize about them. His thoughts will be filled with thoughts of his beautiful and desirable wife.
All these outer beauty will mean nothing though if your inner self sucks. Your smile, encouragement, submissive spirit, happy countenance, positive attitude, and gratitude count more than your physical appearance. Match all these with looking good for your husband and you have the perfect recipe for a faithful husband and good marriage.
5. Never be complacent.
A lot of wives have gotten complacent in their marriage and then disaster strikes: a third party enters the scene. This will not happen if the wife is always on her toes.
Just because you have a good husband does not mean that you can just relax and expect your marriage to take its own course. You have to continuously do your part in serving him, respecting him, prioritizing him, lifting him up in prayer, and fulfilling all your God-given roles as a help-meet to your husband. Proverbs 31:18 attests to this: Her candle goes not out by night. Her lamp continues to burn.
6. Pray unceasingly (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
Wife, you are the most powerful person to pray for your husband. When you pray for him unceasingly, you protect him in the spiritual realm. You fight the enemy before he even has the chance to attack your husband. You prevent temptations from happening. You block off all the Jezebels from his life.
7. Be your husband's best friend.
When you become your husband's best friend, he will not seek any friendship elsewhere. He will not have the urge to open up to another person about his problems, more so to the opposite sex. He will vent out everything to you and will even share his secrets with you.
I am my husband's best friend which is why he will never be able to hide anything from me. He is so transparent with me and shares with me even his lustful thoughts and dreams. This was not easy for me at the start but I have learned to appreciate it more than ever. Because of this I am able to cover him very effectively in prayer.
8. Be the best lover ever.
I am not just talking here of some sweet talk or a hug here and there. I am talking about physical intimacy. Give your husband the best in bed. Don't deprive him of what he needs, even if you don't feel like doing it. Please him. Satisfy him. Don't hesitate to make the first move. Make him feel like a real man. Do this and no other woman will be able to stand against you and your marriage.
9. Set boundaries.
This is one thing that I had to reiterate to my husband over and over again. He didn't understand it at the start but eventually he did. I had to learn it the hard way myself.
From the very beginning of my marriage, I told my husband that none of us should be left alone with any member of the opposite sex unless they are our immediate family members. We also made an agreement not to hug people of the opposite gender since this happens in church all the time. Of course there were certain unavoidable situations but we still would not be the first ones to extend our arms to and hug people of the opposite sex. We are also careful about talking to the opposite gender, even if it is just Facebook.
Some people think I overdo things in this area but really, I don't care what they think. As I've said, "I've been there" and I know that it only takes something very little... something innocent... something not even bad... to start a fire and ruin the entire marriage.
10. Be extremely sensitive to him and his surroundings.
I explained a lot about this on my article, Wives... Attention! Being extremely sensitive to your husband means being attentive to his needs, what he's going through, the attacks that he faces everyday, his struggles, his pains, issues that continue to haunt him, etc. Being extremely sensitive to his surroundings means knowing who he talks to, how these people affect him, what's going on in his workplace or ministry, what he watches, what he listens to, etc.
I am not advising you to act like some police. This will do more harm than good. Rather, I advice you to be some sort of a spiritual secret agent. As an agent it is your responsibility to get all the information you can, in a very discreet way, so you can stop the evil thing from happening. For instance, if he is opening up or venting to you, listen to him carefully. Read between the lines of what he is saying. Ask God to give you a greater level of discernment on this one. Then once you know the deeper issue, attack the matter in the spiritual realm through prayer and the Word.
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