Christian Codependency: Learn to Live and Let Live - By Karla Downing
If you are struggling with Christian codependency, you are confused about where you begin and end in your relationship with the difficult person in your life. The lines get blurred and you begin to take on the other person's responsibilities, feelings, and choices and as a result, lose the ability to live your own life. The solution is to "live and let live."
God holds each of us accountable for ourselves and gave each of us stewardship over our own lives (Romans 14:12). What this means is that you are responsible for living your life and the other person is responsible for living his/her life. Regardless of how close that person is to you, you are separate beings.
Choices. God has given each of us the freedom to make our own choices. Along with those choices, come the consequences that go along with them. God has established the natural law of reaping and sowing: when people make good choices, good things usually happen; but when they make bad choices, bad things usually happen (Galatians 6:7-8). We need to focus on making the right choices for ourselves and allow others to make their own choices and experience the results-good or bad.
Feelings. It is tempting to blame others for our feelings, because after all, they do things that we feel strongly about. The truth is that no matter what others do to us, we are responsible for our reaction to it and part of that reaction is our emotions. God made us in his image with the ability to feel many emotions. We can feel them without judging them as "good" or "bad" and then choose how to act and react. Jesus taught us this principle when he reminded us to love our enemies and treat them well by choosing our response to them (Matthew 5:43-44).
Responsibilities. Each of us is responsible for taking care of ourselvesand the tasks that are ours to do. When someone doesn't meet that responsibility, it is tempting to take over and do it for him/her, but when we do that, we are enabling the person to continue to be irresponsible. Proverbs 19:19 says, "A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again" (NIV). This is called "enabling" because it allows the person to continue doing what would result in negative consequences, if the enabler didn't step in and prevent them from happening.
When you "live," you focus on living your life to the best of your abilities; when you "let live," you allow the other people in your life to live their lives to the best of their abilities. As much as you want to do it for them, you need to let go. When the rich young ruler came to Jesus to inquire about how to be saved, Jesus answered him. When the man chose to reject Jesus' offer, Jesus let him walk away, because he had the right to (Luke 18:18-23). Give the people in your life the same dignity to live their own lives, while you focus on living yours.
If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karla_Downing Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6922466