Girls, Beware of Your Actions
By Lisa U Maki
How many times in your life have you been disappointed with the way a guy misinterpreted your actions? How many times have you experienced being friendly with a guy and he thought you wanted to have sex with him? How many times did you think a guy really liked you only to find out that he just wanted your body? I've been there a lot of times.
Most women don't have a clue as to how guys' brains work. They don't have the slightest idea of how bad they are affecting men. Generally, girls just want to be appreciated; they are hungry for attention. They wear sexy attire because it makes them feel beautiful. Unfortunately, what they feel and think "is beautiful" is viewed differently by men. Men see the sexy dress as a signal for them. They see it as the girl's way of saying... look at me, touch me, feel me, lust after me. Don't blame the men for feeling this way. Instead, let us take a closer look at ourselves, as women.
I don't know about you but I was that "kind of girl" before... always hungry for attention... always wanting to be the main attraction. I remember wearing short shorts in our volleyball practice one summer. I was 12 years old then. My coach told me not to wear those shorts again. I told him, "Why are you telling me this? Look at those other girls who are older than me. They are wearing shorter shorts than these". My coach said, "You are not like them. And it is better that you remain the way you really are". Of course I didn't understand it then. I was a 12-year old girl wanting to look like an 18-year old woman. This is the case with most teenagers. They wear thick make-up and sexy clothes wanting to look like those Victoria's Secret models. What I didn't understand and what a lot of our teenagers don't understand is that it is setting them up for something bad... something they will regret in the future.
The way I dressed up as a teenager and the way I was projecting myself attracted the wrong kind of men and opened doors for promiscuity for me. I also remember hanging out with this very wild girl who was my age. Guys thought I was just like her so they treated me the way they treated her. I thought those guys really liked me, I mean I thought they were serious about me. I didn't know that they were just after my body.
A woman dressed in a micro-mini skirt may think that the guy who is looking at her thinks she's cute but the guy is actually picturing her naked. Again, we can't fault men for this. Their brains are wired that way. It is our role as women to help them by not provoking them.
Women want to be wanted. They wallow in the attention that men give them. It also gives them the edge and power over men. Some women know this and use it as their weapon. This was the case with Samson and Delilah. Yet there are women who are ignorant and clueless. I was a mix of those. I enjoyed the power I had over men but at the same time clueless as to how they were feeling and how I was affecting them and the people around them.
I used to be an adulteress. What got me into these adulterous acts was the way I was projecting myself to men. It was not only the clothes I wore but my entire body language. And since it felt so good to be wanted and desired, I was blind to the sin I was committing. Most of these adulterous relationships started with just flirting with men, without the intention of going to bed with them. See how dangerous this can be?
How many marriages have I hurt and even damaged? How many wives were cheated on because of me? How many men have lusted after me and fantasized about me just because I made them? Can I now say that there was nothing wrong with the clothes I wore? Can I say that there was nothing wrong with me riding in a car alone with a married man? Can I say that there was nothing wrong with opening up my personal problems to a married man?
Did you know that men were created to be the protector of women? It is their nature to want to be the "knight in shining armor" for women. This was placed by God in them for their wives, not for every woman. But then, when they are faced with a situation where a woman is crying and opening up her problems to him, his protective nature kicks in. On the other hand, women were created to be protected. When she opens up to a man and the man listens to her and offers a shoulder to cry on, she then feels protected. This is why if a man and woman find themselves in a situation like this, they fall into the trap of sin. It starts as an innocent act that leads to something else. Now do you see why even the most well-meaning, righteous, and good people can fall into this sin?
Girls... women... listen to what I am saying. Be conscious of your own actions and behaviors towards men. Set parameters and boundaries. Be mindful of how you are affecting not only them but the people around them. If you, for instance, go to church wearing something provocative, think about how the men will be distracted and how the wives will feel about it.
Here is a list of some parameters I can suggest.
1. Never be alone with a married man, or if you are married, with any other man other than your husband (unless he is your dad, son, brother, or close family member).
2. If you are friends with a married man, be sure you are friends with his wife too.
3. Don't call a married man "hunny" or "sweetheart", and if you are a married woman, don't call any man by that name (unless he is your son or some close family member).
4. Even on social networking sites such as Facebook, be careful when you are exchanging comments or messages with a married man, unless it is all about God.
5. Never seek counsel from a man, unless he is your dad. I don't even advise a male pastor, unless his wife is with him.
6. Don't share your personal problems with a married man... and if you are married, with any other man.
7. Be aware of your body language.
8. Be careful of what you wear, whether you are single or married. If you are married, consult your husband at all times. Better yet, consult the Lord. If you are sensitive to His Spirit, you will know if what you are wearing will be distracting to men.
Let us help the men around us by making it easy for them not to lust. Let us not be a stumbling block not only to men but also to women who will feel jealous. Better yet, let's always put ourselves in the shoes of the wives and girlfriends of every man we see. And, let us warn other women of this. Pass on this message to them.
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6832573