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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Trouble with the in-law's?

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Trouble with the in-law's?

Below is an email from a Godly Woman member, after reading, please pray for their family and if you wish leave an advise, prayer, a Bible verse or comment below to comfort this family. Thank you. 


Dear Godly Woman,

I would like to be kept anonymous please. My husband and I have been facing so much lately. A lot of it coming from his mother and it is starting to carry a heavy burden on us both. But I think more so on him, because of the type of person his mom is, I cannot nor can he stand up and say or confront her about anything. She has been bashing, degrading and talking so badly of me. Name calling. Everything. My transmission in OUR truck blew out a year ago. Since, my mother in law has been letting me use ONE of hers. My husband works nights (leaves the house at 4:30 pm and doesn't get home until usually around 4:00 am). I am currently a stay at home mom of my own 7 yr old and my 8 and 10 yr old stepchildren who my husband has had custody of since before we even starting dating, we have none of our own together. His mother loves to be in control of anything and literally everything. She helped us get a house, which we had moved onto and set up on permanent foundation on her property (different land then where she lives, she lives about 30 mins away from us). She constantly throws me not working in my face. We do struggle financially because I don't work. I would like to, but I struggle finding a job to work around my husband’s hours because we don't have help or money for babysitters or anything. He cannot confront his mom about the stuff she has been saying, because she would take it as him going against her. (It happened with his first marriage and his mom is ONE of the reasons him and his ex did not work out and now she is doing the same with us). He told me that if I was to or even if HE did confront her, she would take our lively hood, take her truck back (the only vehicle we have for the 5 of us *us and 3 kids* to fit into to) and would take our house. I am going tomorrow to put in applications and try the whole job search thing again. Literally, right now, we are FORCED to deal with her actions, which is causing trouble between us, my step children and I (she has been telling them stuff and is causing them to somewhat act our against me) and bring me down in so many ways and making me feel beyond terrible about myself. I have prayed for guidance, help, strength, as well as courage. I would LOVE to be able to see us be able to even find a house to rent that we could afford, so that we are out of this one and not having a place to live held against us. I would LOVE to be able to get our own family car so that we can give her truck back to her and not have that held over our heads. If we could get those 2 breakthroughs, it would be life changing! We would be out of her grasp and control. I am at a lost. We don't get help from the state (food stamps, medicare, etc because even for a family of 5 on one income and us struggling to make ends meet they say my husband makes too much.), we do not receive child support from his ex (she is court ordered but has NEVER made a payment and is over $13,000 behind) and we don't get it from my child’s father because he has never (not even through my pregnancy at any time) was in the picture. We can't get any financial help to help us succeed in our goals to have OUR OWN house and car without the fear of them just being yanked away. I have no idea what to do any more and have gotten into a state of depression. I feel like his mother is right, that I am worthless, because no matter how hard I try or anything I never succeed. If there is any advice how to cope with ANY of this and help us get on OUR OWN feet, with a house and car that is ours and won’t have held over us, and out of his mothers control and grip, it would be greatly appreciated!


Godly Woman Answers:

Hi Anonymous,

It is so pathetic how one can manipulate and abuse another. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. As I was reading your comments, I was thinking of a woman who would treat another human being with contempt could do so only from a heart that is dark and troubled. My advice to you is to encourage yourself with the word of God. Your mother-in-law is NOT in control of your emotions, only you can control that. Don’t let her abuse you verbally and treat you with contempt because you do not stand tall with dignity. Everyone goes through life’s up’s and down’s this does not mean your mother-in-law can take advantage of your situation and pollute your head with lies and your children’s.  Do not let your mother-in-law get to you. Take charge of your life in God. He will heal your wounds, hurt and the pain. Your mother-in-law, is not right, you are NOT worthless. In the eyes of God, you are his precious daughter, your family is his, and not for anyone to trample on. Pray for your, mother-in-law, love her like Jesus loves her, this might be hard to do in the beginning, but start doing and gradually you will love her like Jesus loves her. You should know that your mother-in-law is not the enemy here; it’s the work of the flesh, the ugly spirit behind it that causes her to destroy you with verbal abuse and manipulation. Ask God to keep you on firm ground and meditate on the word of God daily (if you are not in a habit of doing that – please start doing it). Meditate on God’s precepts, He will guide you and give grace to sustain all things.

Remember to pray for her daily. Ask God to humble her, and ask him to give you the courage to not be offended by her littleness. When you can smile with pity at her criticisms, she loses her power and her words will no longer matter to you. Only then will you be able to minister to her need as you find victory in Jesus Christ!

Power Verses to help you:

Psalm 34:17-18, "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. "
 

2 Corinthians 12:9, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Praying God strengthens you and your family. God bless. 


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